Just Kill Me Now
by Alex the Anachronistic
Summary: May I excuse myself for this, in that I came up with it when I was very angsty and in the shower?


Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. I AM NOT J.K. ROWLING. Nor am I J.K. ('just kidding') about that. I'm not affiliated with Warner Bros. or Bugs Bunny. Sorry.

_Ok. So this is something random I came up with in the shower, and the only reason I wrote it down is A) I thought it was rather funny at first and B)I haven't posted anything in a while, and I really, REALLY want to kick down that Trivial Delay series. So here's this tidbit. When I wrote it, I had Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire on my mind, so it's in the same style in the beginning. But otherwise, my words are completely original. It's completely unedited, so the first two verses are practically nothing like the rest of the song. But they were so cute, I could not resist keeping them in writing this out. So let me end this little prologue by saying. . . enjoy!_

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**Just Kill Me Now**

Pumpkin juice that does explode  
Fire crackers, rabid toad  
Moon-howler with a brood  
Potter and that Weaseley nude (ugh!)  
Dumbledore wearing a dress  
Dark Lord playing wizard chess  
Granger and her term 'unfair'  
Houselves washing underwear

Feather with a razor tip  
A verituserum slip  
Fanfic writers do adore  
Umbage and I on the floor  
Wrote myself a better name  
Rowling kills me just the same  
And then after all that  
Go to hell with that damn rat!

Just kill me now  
For then I can evade the future  
Just kill me now  
And this worthless hulk will leave forever  
Just kill me now  
For my own way of dying is slow  
Serendipity means no more to me than my hair.

McGonagall once said to me  
"Dear boy, let your life go free  
For the time that you have left  
Make it the best you had yet"  
That was thirteen years ago  
Yet to take her advice, though  
Like a woman, she won't learn  
Hatred's all I'll ever earn

Accidental embargo  
Sending shipments to and fro  
England's under attack  
From its own intestine track  
Absolutely positive  
My soul's all I got to give  
Dumbledore forced me to  
Do that which I hate to do!

Just kill me now  
For then I can evade the future  
Just kill me now  
And this worthless hulk will leave forever  
Just kill me now  
For my own way of dying is slow  
Serendipity means no more to me than Voltaire.

Going back to random things  
Why do they say I have wings?  
Not a bat, neither fat  
Just used as a 'welcome' mat  
Ought to read more Dante now  
Gotta know where I'll be found  
If one follows mine own soul  
Pray to them I'll be gentle!

Wishing you were here again  
Anger at my own sin  
Mr. Potter; Mr. Black;  
Werewolf Lupin on the rack!  
Gone to where yourself has gone  
Beyond reach of giant's yawn  
If once more I just could see  
Your hand near so close to me!

Just kill me now  
For then I can evade the future  
Just kill me now  
And this worthless hulk will leave forever  
Just kill me now  
For my own way of dying is slow  
Serendipity means no more to me than Panere.

Ever after I retire  
I see visions on the mire  
Bloody figures all endowed  
Drag me to a hell of loud  
Merging is my destiny  
Cursing my stupidity  
Hitler, Brutus, and Saddam  
Greet me with an open palm

But then retribution comes  
I awake from thorns and drums  
Bleeding red all everywhere  
I meet the just moon's cold stare  
With a hasty patching-up  
Motion into my legs rub  
Escape in the scathing air  
Though my throat had got a tear

Just kill me now  
For then I can evade the future  
Just kill me now  
And this worthless hulk will leave forever  
Just kill me now  
For my own way of dying is slow  
Serendipity means no more to me than Conair.

……………………..

White trash and Americans  
No one sees that beatnick's done  
Lodged away in a new home  
Wrote a misanthropic tome  
Burned up all his dark arts books  
One fresh Muggle wife he took  
Never quite made up for _her  
_This is not a non sequitur!

Finished all at 123  
Nine children had he thee  
One for every rung of hell  
For his birthday date as well  
Buried with an ancient creed:  
"Loved all now, bewarnd of greed"  
Without this the little man  
Might ne'er got to heaven!

Don't kill him now  
He's not to evade his future  
Don't kill him now  
He needs to survive forever  
Don't kill him now  
For his own way of dying is slow  
Serendipity will plague him no more!

_

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_

_I kinda need Billy Joel to record this for me. Yeah right. 'K, so it sucked. 'Specially the last two verses in third person (not supposed to be Snape's p.o.v.) I guess there was a lot of incomprehensible imagery in there, so, basically, this poem illustrates random things Snape thinks, taking note of the fact that he survived Nagini's bite and went to America to live a 'normal' life afterwards. Strange? Yes._

_Like? Review. Hate? Review. Indifferent? REVIEW! _


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